par chalti ka naam zindagi hai

saalaa..bohot log aage nikal gaye..bohot log peeche chhoot gaye...

par chalti ka hi naam zindagi hai...
Kabhi life mein aayee khooshiyon ki baadh, kabhi life ne di apni faad..
kabhi ladki, kabhi kadki, kabhi rajani , toh kabhi gajani hai..
par chalti ka naam zindagi hai...

Kabhi taali toh kabhi gaali hai...
kabhi daaru toh kabhi chai ki pyaali hai...
pehli ko bhari , toh 31st ko jeb khaali hai....
par chalti ka naam zindagi hai...

Doston ne smartfone ki badaaulat doori kar li,
toh saala smartfone hi gairon ko pass  le ayaa...
jinko samjha dost, woh dushman nikle, jinko samjha bore, woh fun nikle..
kabhi solid ash hai, toh kabhi bekaar lagi hai...par chalti ka naam zindagi hai...

Cricket mein kabhi apan hue hit, toh salaa cricket hi hua fix..
pehle jitney mein sabzi aati thi, aaj kalchai bhi nahi milti,,,
Kabhi corruption hai, kabhi mehengaai, aaj kal toh rupee ki bhi lagi hai,

par chalti ka naam zindagi hai...

Khelna hai kisiko IPL, toh karna hai kisiko big boss…
galat thought hai yeh, ki ho raha hai apna vikaas..
Paisa sab yahan se le jaana chahte hain, par invest karne ko kisi ko nahi padi hai,,,par chalti ka naam zindagi hai...

Aakhir main ek sandesaa sunaata hoon,
Mann ki baat dil se bataata hoon…
jaanta hoon main kabhi khooshi hai, kabhi hai tension
Khoosh hai kabhi dil, toh gussa ho jaata hai kabhi mann…
bas itna yaad rakhna mere dost, yeh zindagi ek taalaab nahi, baraf, veeran aur hariyaali se behne waali nadi hai..par chalti ka naam zindagi hai...

Bachelor life- A married man says "Cheers"!!!

“Bhai, kab nikal raha hai?”  Translated as “What time you plan to leave bro”, this was a staple question that used to get asked at 5.55 PM mon-Thursday, and at 5 PM on Fridays. The good thing about working in a corporate set up in Pune was that most companies provided transportation services. Buses leave from office at scheduled times, typically 6 PM, 7 PM and hence the questions at 5.55 PM, 5 mins before the first bus is to leave. Fridays was a different game because the way back from office was not home, but to Mumbai, my home town.

Looking back about half a decade later, life as a bachelor certainly meant fun, excitement, independence, and above all, the feeling of truly coming out of a protected way of HOMELY life. A typical day was pretty routine in nature- mornings were all about somehow making it to the bus pickup stop, just in time. Reaching that place 5 mins before time allowed the luxury of a cup of tea from the roadside tea vendor.  A 5 ft by 5 ft wooden “platform” was all that the tea vendor was, and yet, he had 50 people at 8 am, waiting to sip on his tea!! Office was routine as always and most part of the day used to pass away without a call, until 5.55 PM. It’s funny how works absorbs so much time and energy that people who stay together, almost don’t recollect each other in the day!!!

Evenings were the funner part of the day. Back in the mid 2000s, internet although all-present, wasn’t easily available on wifis. TV was never considered and smartfones weren’t known to exist as much as today. This left evenings pretty much with books, chit chatting and hangouts. Cricket took an altogether different meaning when played with other friends at someone’s home. 10 of us playing ROOM CRICKET in a 10 ft by 10 ft room meant there was enough space for- jokes, laughs, talking about girls, swearing, abusing, fighting, eating, snacking, and ofcourse, the cricket!!

Ofcourse, there were other things too: all of us fresh 24 year old fresh graduates had many things to discuss: girls, friends, GIRLfriends, stories from college, stories about others from college and the likes. Internet, more than a habit as today, was a leisurely past time, meant to be done at the internet cafes. Social networking was hitherto unknown, and as such, Orkut, google and msn were ways and means to keep in touch with friends from college.

Back to the future, life today is a much settled institution. The energies have all settled down, marriage has brought a new meaning, and the future today seems something that needs to be planned and respected. But a lot of the energies of today, a lot of the excitement, has been generated back then. Life like that is all about friends, creating permanent bonds, and ofcourse, growth- cheers to that!  

Will we ever witness that CIVIL revolution?

Amidst the dying protests and memories from the December 2012 ‘nirbhaya’ rape case comes news of another such horrendous incident- the rape of a 5 year old. Citizen India has lapped the weekend to stage another round of protests and candle vigils. Intentions not to be doubted, it is a bad coincidence that the same week also saw the death of another woman in Jaipur, due to a road accident. At that time though, no one turned up to help her husband as he begged for help on the road. Candle light vigils and protests are a far more convenient and easy method of displaying support and good intentions, helping someone on the ground is a different game altogether.

This week also saw a couple of other events, largely overshadowed by the anti-rape protests- Gold fell to a new mega low and the rupee depreciated a bit more. Both these are perceived as good signs because they tent to bring our current account deficit down big time. However, I am sure that in the times of inflation % of over 8, the common Indian man, like I am, is not too pleased with any of this.

I believe, our nation today is standing on the cusp of a potential revolution- A CIVIL one at that. We are the ones that pioneered the concept of peaceful protests to achieve big results, although the last of that happened more than 65 years ago. What are the main trigger points that lead to a revolution?
1) The situation: This is as bad as it can get. Yes there are pieces of good things as well, but the mood is more somber than happy. Rapes, corruption, inflation, women security issues, droughts, are all there. We have a platter of reasons to choose from. And I am not being humorously sarcastic about this.

2) The will: Are we there yet ? Not so much. A will does not mean simply the desire to be part of a convenient road show. Will means genuine desire and willingness to bring a change. And it starts from bringing a change whenever and wherever you can, not withstanding the impact or credit. The Jaipur accident and dozens of such everyday cases tell us we are not quite there yet

3) A leadership to channelize the will, and to strategize the plan: Did we ever have this? The problem is we all want to be leaders, not followers. And as leaders too, how much far do we really get to bring about the change?

 4) Execution: Will this happen? That’s a question I’d like to raise today to my country men.

As a country, we have all the right reasons to bring about a change, a revolution, that will wipe out the evil. But do we have the human arsenal to do that? Are we ready to make a compromise and bring about the change we all so desire? Can we finally shun the convenient complacence and act? Let me tell you something- the elections of 2014 are not going to help. Those looking at that for a miraculous magic wand solution are worse than those that did not help the jaipur man. They are not even looking at the problem, let alone solve it.

When morality fails, laws don't help

India is waking up to what is probably the oldest and the biggest termite eating us from within. Unlike external threats like terrorism, financial crisis and world dynamics, this one originates from within us, destroys us from inside, and has so far, quietly remained inside us. We also know it by the word 'RAPE'. Let's cut the story short. We all know what has happened in Delhi last month, and the outrage thereafter. And as unfortunate as it is, as I write this, and as you read this, there is a poor girl out there whose life is getting destroyed this very moment.

In all this outrage and the trial by media and citizens themselves, all of us have taken the convenient route of blaming the laws of our country. Everyone is demanding the severest possible punishment to the doers of this crime, and probably rightly so. Yes the laws are obsolete, inadequate and much ineffective.

However, in all this focus on the POST crime punishment, we are losing the main plot here- what was it that drove someone to do such a heinous act at the first place? Surely, that person didn't fear the laws, because as obsolete as they are, they still exist, and still command some fear. Surely, the person is not acting only under the influence of sexual aggression. Such kinds of rapes don't happen only by way of sexual aggression.

The biggest answer to curtailing the menace lies within- in our homes. We all have forgotten that how we become, behave, speak, what we do in later life is determined in the biggest amounts by how we have been brought up. Clearly, if a person totally forgets that by raping someone, he is destroying someone's life, he has forgotten that he was taught in his childhood that such an act was bad. How parents raise their kids, how they teach their kids about whats good and bad, is the most fundamental and long lasting teaching a child can get. It is the first book of law, the first book of knowledge, and possibly, the last that one remembers. So when we see such acts happening, we have to question ourselves. As parents and mentors, are we guiding the kids of this country correctly? Are we telling them that this is bad and should never be done? Are we taking enough care to know what he does outside as he grows? Are we missing the fundamental teachings that we are supposed to impart?

The reason to all of this is simple- when the moral fear of ruining someone's life does not deter someone, mere laws will definitely not.

FDI in retail..are we looking at the wrong problem?

I do feel concerned about our retail markets, should MNC giants enter the India market and drive consumers away from small retailers. Increasing ownership stakes and easing entry will only compound this issue. Surely, one would question the TRUE REAL need for allowing MNC giants free entry in our markets. Its not as if we have a badly shaped retail system, or that the demand market isnt organized. Both these components are sound, well established and abundant. In fact, it is this domestic system- domestic demand and supply- that were the main drivers behind India's strong survival and emergence through the 2008 sub prime recession. Questions therefore are warranted. Why would we like to disrupt this amazing ecology by bringing in foreign players, take away jobs of millions of retailers, increase inflation tendancies, and lose the tightly bound local control? 

But there are some fundamental facts also, that need to be looked at, in the way they exist in India. By nature, a walmart is not competition to the local provision store or retailer. Instead, a walmart or tesco, with their big department stores and walkins, shopping carts, bill counters, sections, and ofcourse, low prices, are more similar to the likes of Big Bazaar, Magnet, Reliance mall etc. The fundamental nature of such a business model is bulk purchase- high volumes, low prices and less frequency of buying. Consequently, I believe this is not a big major shift in the India buying and retail patterns. The likes of BigBazaar, Magnet etc already exist in good tandem with local retail, and such business models and purchasing trends are already in place. If anything, therefore, i'd think its these big retail malls that need to be more cautious and wary of MNCs than the smaller retailers should be. Plus, the nature of buying at a small retail store is more frequent, trigerred by the mandatory short value purchases either over phone, or by a quick walkin. Walmart, or tesco or magnet, this will never really change or go down with time. 

Ofcourse, this is not to mention the retail sector will not be impacted at all. In fact, it is really difficult to predict exactly how much the entry of a particular segment can impact the incumbents, unless that really happens. And, in a huge huge country like ours with such diversity and complexity, it is futile to conclude anything at this stage. FDI in retail does bring out concerns, but it also brings with it, due investments, better products, choice and health in the system. And lets not forget the incremental benefits it promises to bring in to our farmers by way of providing more buying choice/buyers for their products.

What concerns me though, for our retailers,is not the FDI, but things that happen on the ground..Cheaply imported sub-standard goods have been flooding our markets since a long time ago.. On every festive occasion, we see such goods flooding our markets and affecting business of local retailers,,,Not just here, even on an everyday basis, we need a system where our retailers at the smallest level get good values for their products...And frankly, I dont believe FDI can impact this any more negatively or positively. Lets give that a try, but lets also look at the real problems on the ground. 

Thank God- for them, and for you

Here are 4 people, I thank God for...

1) Vidya Balan: The hindi movie industry today has 2 parts to it- the first part is the semi-porn industry that features the serial kisser club. These movies, and the ensuing success represent the sheer sleaze that we crave for as audience. The other part of the industry is the ridiculous movies, the noise, the various re-makes, and absolutely every other piece of nonsense that is churned out as a movie to get the audience in. Somewhere in between the two lies Vidya Balan, the one person club. In an industry where linkups, cat fights and famous boyfriends dominate, Vidya Balan represents a wonderful change, a lovely breath of fresh air. Never one in controversy, common media hype, never one to be spotted in famous parties or camps that dominate her work universe, movie after movie after movie,Vidya reporesents the much forgotten adage- do good and move on to do more good. She remains the single sane element today in this industry

2) Yuvraj Singh: In a team that consists primarily of T20 products, Yuvraj Singh (along possibly with Zaheer Khan and Sehwag) is the last player from the Ganguly era- an era that knew cricket as a sport where winning mattered the most, when passion and aggression meant looking the stronger opponent in the eye and giving a tit for a tat. Yuvraj Singh's return, and hopefully a longer stay, from a sucessful fight against cancer (that personifies him erstwhile), is just the best thing to happen to our team right now. Apart from the sheer talent and gut that he brings along, he represents a nice classic school change to the IPL infatuated generation today- a generation that is increasingly looking at cricket as a money making career rather than as a sport they are passionate for. Everyone remembers the six that Dhoni hit over the long on off the last ball to win us the cup. But fortunately, what everyone also remembers is that Yuvraj Singh had consistently performed throughout the tourney, both with the bat and the ball. The only difference between him and the other legend of the game, Dravid, is that in donning the multiple hat, Dravid kept wickets in 2003, while Yuvraj Singh bowled in 2011. Thank God this new generation legend has survived, and pray to God he will continue to stay on the field for some more time. 

3) Amitabh Bachchan: No one took the screen so much by storm. And I am referring to the small screen, not the big screen where he was, is and will remain king. The whole thing about Amitabh Bachchan is simple- humility, modesty and connect, are the most effective and instant ways to charm the audience. In the TV sphere of today, where someone's misery is sold off as breaking news, undeserving people are rewarded with reality shows, young boys and girls spend more time waiting in a queue for an audition rather in the queue for educational admission, and where lust and sex, not love, are found instantly in TV shows, Amitabh Bachchan with his sincere earnest, happiness, humility, and the best of them all, speech, represents a mirage in the desert. To me, his offscreen person and conduct always matched his onscreen charm and acts. Thank God for this one, he has taught so many things to so many generations. 

4) Ganpati Bappa: Says Bappa "If the above 3 dont solve your problems, I will". The festival of Ganesh Chaturthi has always romanced the spirit of Mumbai. The 10 days of Ganpati are filled with colours, lights, fun, sound, and a general goodness and positivity. It just feels so good to prepare for Bappa, welcome him, to see him off till the next year, and to worship him till then. Thank God for himself!!!!

Signing off 20s...

 I am about 2.5 hrs from turning 30!!! Yes, 30!!!! i don't  know what to jot down....i only know blogs are supposed to provide a medium to express what you feel or think...20s was super,,,last year was especially amazing!! i got married!! things have settled ,,,life is on a different plane..

i am not going to write more here... just wanted to record this moment, while i am still 29!!! i only wanted to express my feeling that i am turning 30!! super...thats a different domain, senior domain,,and looks so much fun!!

cheers...good bye 20s..... 30s, here i come!!!

Rain rain, please don't go away

Dear Rain Gods,

There is little difference between the mood in my country today, and what we generally call 'filth'. As I write to you, Team Anna has shut shop for reasons known only to you. As I write to you, our olympic teams have lost another stab at a medal and some more money has been siphoned off somewhere.

Last month was a bad month, where all the negative benchmarks and levels were crossed. Assam was burning in riots and drowning in floods. The whole of North India and 30% of the population were subjected to power failure for 5 to 6 hrs on end. Life was badly disrupted, to say the least. 

Inflation is at an all time high and your absence isnt helping anything. Rupee levels are dismally low and that has made life miserable. Our farmers continue to commit suicide after after finally succumbing to the pressure of huge loans they cannot repay. Population, pollution and corruption continue to remain loyal to us

Shitty movies, tv shows and shitty people continue to mint money. There is absolutely no substance in the gazillion things that are churned out today. TV, internet and radio all have more ads, many more ads and absolutely very little substance. And of whatever is actually shown, 89.9 % is garble. 

And in all of this bad news, the one thing that could have cheered (and resolved most of these issues), is missing. Rains! Every year, after burning and sweating it out in the hot may summer, India waits for the rains with bated breath. The first time when it rains, around the 7th of june, the heat takes a backseat and the air becomes sweet. Lovely drops of water settle down on grass blades,on tress, on the windows, and on the ground. Things become so much clearer, so much better, the air becomes so quiet, cool and bearable. Birds, animals seem to suddenly become so peaceful. For once, the sound of frogs is tolerable, and brings with it,the signs of good times ahead. Office travels become much more difficult, yet so much more pleasant. A trip from Mumbai to Pune is no longer just that. It is a lovely journey that passess through the lush green hills of the khandala valley. 

And to top all of this, the lakes start smiling. Having been made to overwork, tire and slowly shrink, the lakes themselves are parched to the point of disappearance than humans are. Hitherto dry river banks start swinging and make for such pretty sight. In all of this, man is at the receiving end of all your blessings. The problems of food, water, heat are taken care of for one more year. For one time, although window seats in trains are empty because they are so wet, i love travelling by train. I know this is temporary but much needed, for the rain Gods are taking care of me.

But this year, you havent blessed us as much. The negativity in the air is not so much due to human intervention as it is due to your non-intervention. Man knows, but does not realize, that he has so much blame himself for your absence progressively every year. Yet, in his whole daily business of "going about things as usual", he does not realize how much he needs you.

How much he needs you this year, more than anytime else, India needs you dear rain God. Please come down and bless us. We need you, not so much for the water, but for all garble we have created since you last left us. We need you to come and help us clear this mental filth. 

The power of incrementality

Small things make a big difference. But sometimes, they dont. Size does matter, calories do matter, but sometimes they dont. 

The rainy season always brings in more troubles and issues, and consequently, newer solutions. The most common NEW solution amongst all is the LONGER-BUT-HAS-LESS-TRAFFIC-AND-IS-LESS-TROUBLING-ROAD that we take to avoid peak traffic jams in the rains.Essentially, we opt for the longer route because it will have less traffic, less potholes and therefore will be a better ride. And in doing that, inevitably, we think about how much EXTRA fuel we consume and how it affects our budget for that month..Don't tell me we dont think about it coz we do. In doing so, and in fretting about the extra fuel, we forget a couple of things. First, the amount of  extra (INCREMENTAL) fuel that we spend, is too negligible when compared to the total fuel we have spent in the entire trip. Yes it costs us a little more, but just a LITTLE more. Secondly, and more importantly, we forget the peace of mind it gives us in avoiding all the traffic, potholes, and in reaching the destination on time. Small may not make a big difference after all.

Take another instance when  EXTRA, MORE, or LESS hardly matter. Those who are regulars at the gym know that obsession with the treadmill and handling that obsession well is the single biggest factor in determining  the effectiveness of the workout. A treadmill of about 20 mins helps us shed around 250 cals. Now, I know people who fret over the extra 1 minute or the less 5 calories. If such a person tread for 19 mins, he is bound to fret about the fact that he will lose less calories. Less how many? Lets find out. When we hope on the treadmill, the first and last minute lose less calories, since the body is either warming up or is cooling down, respecively. Typicall, one loses about 7 calories in each of these 2 minutes, and about 230 calories in the next 18 minutes, a little over 12 calories per minute. Therefore, by not working in the last minute, the person saves only 7 calories, or about 3% of the total 250 calories!! Why fret for the one minute  when you have burnt 243 calories anyway??? Why fret for 3%??

Now, let us take look at situations when small indeed is big..

The best example of small things giving rise to big ones is the case of a savings bank account or of a recurring deposit. With small amounts deducted each month, a recurring deposit hardly does any harm for the time period. However, at the time of maturity, the big lumsum comes as a pleasant surprise, much like an oasis in a desert,  or as a wave of fresh air in a crowded place. Good example of small things making a difference.

In another instance, consider the case of income tax. When you dont pay taxes on time, and delay them, you incur a fine. If for some reason tax is not deducted at source, but if you are eligible to pay tax, then you will have to pay it all at once, at the end of the year. This is so much worse than paying much smaller TDS amounts every month. The same holds true for credit card and other bills. This is a classic case of size mattering.

So whats the point? Incrementality matters. Even when it does not matter, incrementality matters. There is much power in breaking down values into smaller increments, and then comparing these increments with the overall value. Doing so helps us make a better and informed decesion, and in all likelihood, reduces the pain of that decesion if it has to hit us hard. There is much value in analyzing the power of incrementality.

Superstitions

 It wasnt raining so much today. Yet, there was toooo much traffic on the road. I did leave later than usual, but not so late so as to be stuck in a bad traffic jam, that caused me to reach office by almost half an hour!! And as Murphy's law said, once something goes wrong, others will too. Sure enuf, today hasnt been a good day at office either...lts just end it there :(

On my way back from office, after a terrible day that began late and ended late, I was once again stuck in traffic. This time, at a long signal, i kept wondering why life was being so unfair. And thats when, something struck me. Just before leaving office this morning, I DID NOT say bye bye to mom. I was in too much hurry and rushed out of the door 20 mins later than usual. Saying bye to mom is something i do everyday. Would there be any relation, AT ALL, between that and the terrible day today?

Naah. Its just a coincidence that on the one day i dont say bye to mom, i have a bad day in a long time. I mean, how does the traffic on the road have anything to do with my mom? Even if i had said bye to her, there would have been as many cars on the road, and the traffic would have been as bad. Things at work would have been as bad as they were. They are independent from what happens at home.

Or are they?

I always wonder how we commonly follow some things under the pretext of belief, rather than of superstition- fasting on certain days, avoiding non-vegetarian on some days, going to the place of worship, praying every morning, following some particular trait that in the hindight, make no sense. I must be honest, every time I see a cat walk across me, i exclaim SOMETHING. I either curse the cat, or i cringe with a "Damn!!" or I do something else that indicates negativity around it. And yet, nothing good or bad has happened before or after that. I also wonder, what would happen if we FAIL to do one or more of the above. How about eating not fasting this time? not praying on a certain day? How about taking it HEAD-ON. See what happens?????

I know I have tried and found it pretty DIFFICULT. Its just too hard to not exclaim or even THINK when a cat crosses by. As educated as i am, i am always aware of the cat. As educated as someone else is, they continue to do their routine. I am not judging or indicating that these are bad or unnecessary things. A lot of people do it our of respect, out of habit or simply because they've been told that that is what is to be done.

But at the hear of it all, isnt it all really superstition? Would terrible things really happen if we didnt do these things once? Would the respect come down in any manner? Would the Gods be affected in any manner if we didnt fast for a day? I know i say bye to mom not out of superstition, but out of personal liking. Is murphys law actually a science-loving-belief-hating version of what is truely superstition? or is superstition a belief-loving-science-hating version of what is actually murphy's law? i.e- whats gonna happen, WILL happen.

Aisa hi hai zindagi ka khel

Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
Tere haath mein chanaa, mere haath mein bhel
Salary agar badhi toh hoga khooshiyon hi khooshiyaan,
Varna aankhon par patti bandhe, stand in front of the rail


Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
Begunaah ghum rahe aazad, bekasoor languishing in jail...
Pakde bhi gaye toh no worries for them,
Aaj nahin toh kal mil hi jaayegi bail.


Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
Exam mein kabhi, there is no option to fail,
Hameshaa lead karna hai, rehna hai aage,
It is always considered bad, if you are the tail.

Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
Kuch bhi ho jaaye, we want everything on sale,
paise bachaane ko, bus aur train mein sadte hue safar toh karein,
par weekend pe 200 Rs. ki picture dekhne kabhi na honge fail.

Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
nahi sakte hum for meeting purposes, traveling ko jhel
Therefore, shortcut and virtual ho gayee hai zindagi,
its all about Whatsapp, Facebook, chat and email..

Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
land ki bhook mein gandey ho gaye hum tooth and nail,
expansiion ki chakkar mein animals ko karte gaye samaapt,
be it tigers, birds, crows ya fir whale...

Aisa hi hai is zindagi ka khel,
many people are trying but barely managing to sail,
Zindagi ho gayee hai sasti, jeena ho gaya expensive,
Koi bhi nahi raha ab, hearty and hale.

The twilight that spoke...

We have read, heard and listened to a lot of things/people that speak about being 'Free as a Bird'. Somewhere in our minds, we all want to be a free bird, or, simply put, a bird- free, independent, can fly, etc etc. Just as a bird represents the FREE end of the spectrum, a kite (not the bird kite)- a flying Kite, represents the other CONTROLLED end of the spectrum. Just like a bird, a kite flies high in the sky, but differs from the bird because a kite is controlled by someone else. I then thought that if someone wants to be a bird, chances are they would not like to be a kite.And probably vice versa.

Until today, that is. As I was returning home in the twilight of the day, I saw in the sky something rolling, swaying aggressively end to end in its own orbit, as if losing control. I thought it must have been a bird flying around, but on a closer look (it was evening so my eyes can be forgiven here), I realized it was a kite- a kite that got cut from its strings and was set free in the sky, ready to land somewhere in the unknown. Basically, it was a kati patang.

And then, as usual, my crazy mind started thinking about something. I started to evaluate if this controlled and guided kite was indeed all that different from the free independent bird than we usually think.

Lets see.. What are the advantages of being a bird?? A bird is, well, independent, free, and on its own. No control, no restrictions, the lead-your-life-your-own-way types. Fly high into the sky!

On the flip side, when a bird is lost, it has pretty much no one to guide it. It is bound to meet obstacles all alone. And finally, and most importantly, since it flies high in the sky, it always looks DOWN at the earth! It is always downward looking.

What then, are the advantages of being a kite? for one, you always have someone to guide you. If a problem arises, a helping HAND is always around. Lets say, you are always I-am-safe-and-secure kinds. Most importantly, a kite always looks UP in order to rise high in the sky! Always upward looking.

On the wrong side of things, well, it is not independent.No much freedom of your own, limited choice and the likes.

Given this analysis, would you still want to be a free independent bird, or a controlled and guided kite? Well, lets put it this way- When the weather is nice, skies clear, and you are listening to most soothing title track from the movie Forrest Gump, and you are gazing at the sky with a drink in your hand; when things are the best they ever can be, both the kite and bird have a good joy ride, and life seems equally beautiful.

But on the day the weather turns rough and stormy, rainy; when times are really bad, both, the kite and the bird are likely to have a torrid time. Neither the independence of the bird, nor the helping hand of the kite, are going to be able to do too much.

Well then?

Whats with this term- BODY SHOP ????

What is this thing with branding IT companies as Body shops? It is probably coincidental that Chetan Bhagat targets none other than Mr. Narayana Murthy, and Infosys, 2 of the biggest names in corporate India, just a week before the release of his latest book. I certainly do not intend to questions his intentions or give him any disrespect; he is an acclaimed author and is doing well in his space. But I certainly do object to his expression, language and his constant use of the word BODY SHOP, in a definitely negative connotation.

What does the word body shop mean anyway? And why is it being used only to Embarrass someone? If I use common grammatical analogy, then, just as a Cosmetic shop means a shop that sells cosmetics, just as a sport shop means a shop that sells sport items, just as a book shop means a shop that sells books, shouldn’t the word BODY shop mean a ‘shop that sells bodies’???? I had to use this seemingly trivial stupid and CRUEL analogy, because I could not find the meaning word BODY SHOP anywhere on the internet.

Now tell me, does Infosys SELL BODIES??? Does any other IT company sell bodies? Then why this usage? The IT industry in India, of which Infosys is a pioneer and a big name, employs almost a million people, and feeds around 4 million families! This industry has been responsible for giving India a USP and brining some kind of glamour to its corporate image, not to mention how much it has contributed to the economy.
What does Infosys do? What do similar IT companies do? They sell services, IT services , which help other business do better. Just as a cosmetic shop has its customers, just as a book shop has readers who buy books, just as a sports shop has young people or sportsmen who buy sports goods, IT cos too have their own clients. Then what is so WRONG in that? Come on Mr. Bhagat, simply because you aren’t from this industry, doesn’t make this a bad deal!

On a final note, when it comes to Mr. Murthy, he is a person everyone looks up to. He, along with his colleagues, has created what is truly a phenomenon. His leadership, entrepreneurial abilities and his persona are admired around the world. I do not think anyone should score such public , brownie points against him.

Mr. Bhagat, you are a very successful man yourself, and I admire your work, and respect you for that. But please, this is not done.

How Ironic

The kind of assoles we are, its ironic how we react to the same thing very differently in different situations. Check the reactions in the HOWEVER situations:

1) You are working in a company and your friend gets a job in your company, you say “Its going to be fun. I now have company over lunch.”
However, if you have moved out of your company and the same friend joins that company,, you’d say “That sonova bitch, He is going to earn much more, and grow to positions I could have, had I stayed”

2) You have resigned and are waiting to be relieved from your current company. When your company tells you to leave tomorrow instead of after a month of notice period, you go “Cool!! I will be on board my new job soon!! Awesome!!”
However, if your company fires you, and tells you to leave tomorrow, you are like “ Screw it man!! My life is fucked! How do I get a new job now!!!!”

3) You get a mid year appraisal as a result of which, your salary increases by 8%. You go gaga and say “Shitty cool!! I got a hike in the middle of the year! I love my company!!!”
However, when you don’t get the year end main appraisal because of this mid year hike, you curse them and say “Damn them!! They didn’t increase my salary this time! Time to get a new job”

Some general non-work, real life situations:

4) A player plays badly in a test match. You be a good critic and say “Even champions have their bad times.”
However, when he plays badly in a test and then follows it up with a good performance in a T20, you accuse him by saying “Assole. All he cares about is the cash rich T20 matches!!”

5) You get good marks in an exam, so does a friend. You obviously are happy “wow!! That’s nice,,phew”
However, when you fail and he scores good marks, your reaction is a tad different “Bastard!!! How the hell did he score so much!! We studied the same notes!!!!”

6) You and your neighbor, both have water running down your taps. All is well in life and you say “our area almost never has water problems. Everyone should be happy and should have water”
However, the one time you do not have water (and most probably due to a faulty pipeline), and if your neighbor continues to have water, you rant him with “Dam him!! He hasn’t paid his bills in a while and he still gets water!! Piece of shit”

7) You are playing cricket and there is this guy who is in your team. He scores a six of the last ball and wins it for your team. You appreciate him by saying “whadda playa!!! We won because of him!!”
But when he is in the opposite team and scores for the other team and wins the match for them, you go “SON OF A BITCH.”

8) You are married and then, your best friend gets married. You are ecstatic because “ its so great!! We are a couple of couples!!! (as says Chandler in friends)!!!!
However, if you are not yet married, even worse, still single, and your best friend gets married, what do you say?? “FILL IN THE BLANK”

9) Your WIFE tells you she is pregnant. You thank all Gods and say “That is so good sweetie!!! I cant even express how happy I am. I love you so much. Thanks for that!! MMuuaahh”
However, when your GIRLFRIEND tells you she is pregnant, you swear to her “Are you sure that was me?”

Why I support Anna Hazaare and this movement.

Let me come straight to what the critics point out about Anna Hazaare’s agitation, and what I call, the PEOPLE’s MOVEMENT:

1) Critics say: This is blackmail of the government and things don’t work like this

I say: Anna Hazaare started out ALONE in this fight by sitting at the RamLeela maidan. It was the people who joined him gradually, and joined him in big numbers. Anna did not go to people’s houses with a gun in his hands to FORCE them to join him!! What does that mean? That means people support him and this is what they want. In order to BLACKMAIL someone, you need to have a bad motive and need to know a secret about someone. Anna is doing neither of the two. No one can simply blackmail someone else just like that.

2)Critics Say: Laws are not formulated like this. They need to be formulated in the legislature, by the people who are ELECTED.

I say: Why did all of this happen at the first place? It happened because the same ELECTED people were corrupt!! Scam after scam after scam!! They have frustrated the common man to no end! How do I trust them then? This movement has given hope to billions of people EXHAUSTED by the burden of the scams, and who see their tax money swindled out! If they want laws to be formulated like this, then the laws BETTER BE FORMULATED LIKE THIS!!

3) Critics Say: People don’t know the Lokpal enough to support it so strongly

I say: Do you know the minimum age limit requirement to be the PM of this country? Do you know the qualifications of the local MLA/MP of your area? Leave that, do you even know his name?? Despite not being aware of these things, you still voted anyway right? This is because you placed some amount of trust in them.. it could be any parameter but you still voted without knowing too much. Why can the Lokpal not be trusted similarly? It has atleast resulted in a movement which the people finally RELATE with! I say, if you want, consider it the LESSER OF TWO EVILS..But fight for what it represents: HOPE

4) Critics say: This will result in a trend and people will want to use such methods in a future

I say: The last time someone fasted like this to get a result was Mahatma Gandhi, 64 years ago! It doesn’t take 64 years for something to become a trend!! And for it to become a trend, remember that PEOPLE SUPPORT is needed for it to result into something big! Anna is succeeding because he is a true man with a vision for great India, a selfless soul who is not fighting for himself alone! This is why he has struck such a massive chord with the people! He is simply being supported that’s all, because he is standing for the truth! Tomorrow, if I stand on the streets and fast, even a dog will not care. Hence, it will not become a trend. And even if it does, SO WHAT? If that is what it takes to make this country great, then that is what will happen!

I say: Support Anna, support the movement, and go ALL OUT on the streets. Let your voice be heard! I know you are frustrated and so am I !!!

When my pants got wet

It has just started raining in Mumbai and I was on my way to office in Thane. The rickshaw I was travelling in, had the rain cover at the side, but the cover was not pulled down, it was rolled up. Essentially, the rickshaw was as good as one without cover, and that is exactly what happened. SWOOSH!! ran a car past from the left, and there went my pants for a toss. The water splashed all over my pants. DIRTY water :( I then rolled the covers down for the rest of the journey.

Strangely, and I am sure this happens with most of us, I kept looking outside the cover, trying to see how effectively it was protecting me. I was looking to evaluate weather now, other vehicles were running past and the cover managed to protect me. What was even more strange was that I was SAD that now, in fact, NO car really raced past, and therefore the cover, even thought pulled down, was useless because it never got the CHANCE to protect me!! Shitty strange!! I actually said to myself “Damn!! Why are no vehicles racing past now, when the covers are down!! And why did that one vehicle pass me and spoil my pants?”

I realized I was looking for some sort of negativity to justify positivity!! And then I thought of a few more very common examples in life where we hope for some bad things to happen, just so our GOOD DECESIONS are justified. We hardly realize that it is eventually much better that the bad thing didn’t happen despite the decision. Check these out:
1) We buy rainy shoes AFTER the first rains spoil our good leather shoes. Then, it stops raining and we have no use of the rainy shoes. We say “Why the hell does it not rain now? My new rainy shoes are going waste!!” Damn it, we don’t realize we are much better off without those heavy rains because greater damage would have happened!! (your PANTS for example)
2) We sell a stock and the company’s stock value rises after that. We say “Why the hell did the stock have to rise now?? I have already sold it!!” What we don’t realize is that in any given situation, it is only good that company stock prices are rising! Our selfishness blurts away the fact that had the stock fallen instead of risen, things would have gotten bad for the so many employees and shareholders of that company!
3) We give up our Reliance electricity connection in favour of the lower cost TATA connection, and then, reliance slashes its prices. We are like “F***, why the hell did I switch!!” What we fail to note is that TATA will probably lower its price further, and this will lead to what we famously call in macroeconomics “PRICE WAR”. Never good, never good.
4) The moment you get commited in a relationship, and see a better looking person of the opposite sex, you sigh to youself “Did I hurry in getting commited? Arent there better looking birds out there?” Crap, because that means you don’t remember how shittyly messed up you were when you were single!!

It is strange that in most hindi movies too, the CHAAND (moon) is always beautiful despite the DAAG (the black thing). Why the hell do we need the bloody daag to beautify the chaand!!!???
I sure don’t know the reason for this. Do you?

The glass that never was

There are 2 very famous ways to look at the 200 ml capacity glass that has 100 ml of water in it. People of both ways have their own crap to brag about. The OPTIMISTS, who look at the glass as half FULL, are so busy in their obsession about positivity and happiness, that they do not realize that the glass is only half as good. The glass will quench only 50% of their thirst. The PESSIMISTS, who look at the glass as half EMPTY, are so depressed and given up, that they do not realize that 50% of their thirst can still be satisfied, and that half the world is better than they think.

The problem with either way of thinking is that in either case, the glass is viewed as a BAD event in life. Therefore, how you VIEW or REACT to that bad thing, determines if you are optimist or pessimist.

What they forget, though, is that one can never really SEE, or LOOK AT, glass or water. Both glass and water are transparent, and therefore, truly speaking, you are only looking at the outside of the glass, on the other side. This is where I jump in, as the 3rd idiot.

I say, why view the glass as a bad event only? I say, the glass represents JUST ABOUT ANY event in life. And, instead of RISING or FALLING due to that event, I should simply IGNORE the glass, and look straight ahead in life. 2 years ago, when I had graduated out of my MBA, I had to sit home for 6 months, depressed, due to the recession. With no job coming, and a broken heart, I would never have imagined then, that 2 years hence (which is today), I would have a decent job, and I would be writing a blog from my laptop on a relaxed Saturday afternoon. The mistake I did at that time was that I tried to be too much of an optimist, trying to find meaning in that depression. I never looked at the bigger picture by IGNORING the glass. Had I looked straight up right and ignored the glass, I would clearly have seen this life of today, and may be I would have reacted differently.

For those still confused about the crap above, my point is simple. The glass represents any event/thing in life. Do not read too much into that event. Do not look at things THROUGH the glass. Regardless of whether you see it half full or empty, what you finally see is a very diluted and unclear vision of the future. Instead, I say, IGNORE that EVENT in life as a one off and keep looking straight ahead. Do not always try to rise or fall from that event , because every new moment becomes a new event. Ignore the glass, and look at life directly. That’s a much better picture of the future.

Why I can never be Sachin Tendulkar

Only Rajni knows the number of articles written on Sachin…On his 38th bday today, Sachin holds the orange cap for the IPL season-4. That means he is the highest run scorer so far, in a tourney, that is conventionally considered fitting only for the YOUNGSTERS, not for 38 year olds. But defying the odds EVERY TIME is what Sachin is all about, isn’t it?

To summarize his achievements in one line, he has just about everything and every record. More than the cumulative number of mortals can ever imagine.

But his most important achievement, for me, is also one of his very few controversial ones. His century against Zimbabwe in the 1999 WC, a day after his father’s death. Controversial, because critics point out to the fact that it came against Zimbabwe. But, most important, because he achieved this very big professional feat a day after his father’s death. How many of us can bounce back after small incidents or setbacks, leave alone the death of someone so close. What happens when we have a little fever or we meet a small accident. Let’s face it, we want the world to know. We call our colleagues, our boss and friends. A 99 fever inevitably becomes 101 when we speak to them. A small wound on the leg turns into a ligament tear, to say the least. A slight brush with a car turns into an accident. Lets face it. We make a mountain out of a mole, to get some sentiment value, and to get a day off work. That it turns into 2 days off is a no-brainer.

But did Sachin do that? Did he call a press conference to mourn the death of his father, and to take time off the WC? Leave that aside, he did not even skip the very next match, which happened on the very next day! He could have easily gotten away without scoring, no questions asked. Instead, he scored a century and won it for India- the highest you can do at work on a day! The opposition was not difficult, but the match was. For him, the situation was.

This is the dreaded month of April, when appraisals happen. Most of the very few who are reading this, already have their appraisals done, and are pretty dissatisfied with them. What are the few common things we say these days? “ Waise bhi company itna kam de rahi hai, to fir itna kaam kyun karnekaa?” ….or…. “Yaar I am gonna be leaving early now on. Only 8 hours and that’s it. What’s the point of slogging so much when the company does not respect my work, or when it does not reward me?” …ironically, even if you get a very GOOD appraisal, what do you say? “Aah,,,I am happy the company finally realized my worth and reawarded me well..I have worked so hard for so long, I can finally stabilize,,I can finally leave early, spend only 8 hours, and lead a more relaxed life now.”

Either way, we are giving up. Either way, we look for reasons to work less, do less and not raise our performance. There is no incentive, good or bad, to motivate us to raise our performance. We just remain content at being discontended.

And this is why I say I can never be Sachin Tendulkar. Because, that man does not know the meaning of GIVE UP. He does not know what it is to not perform. He has been doing great for a very long time, but he continues to excel. He has also done badly at times, but he has only bounced back strongly. It is not his profession that gives him these opportunities. It is his character that does.

It takes 2 to tango

I don’t quite understand the meaning of this phrase “It takes two to tango”. The closest thing I know about it is that there was a film “Three to tango” that starred Chandler in it. Some people call him Mathew, but I don’t really know why.

Anyway, while not quite obsessed about the meaning, I set out on a Monday morning to office. Mondays are bad I tell you, because they really are. The difference between this Monday and the last 51 Mondays though, was that this one came after the Holi, which was on the Sunday.

Needless to say, it was a literal painting exhibition in the train that day. People had colors all over themselves. Face, hands, neck et al. Some people were smeared with oil paint, and I guess they were not planning to have any presentations or client meetings soon.

Such Mondays are also different because I managed to get a seat to sit. The Holi hangover was clearly lurking, and fewer people ventured out that Monday. As the journey progressed, I heard a very interesting conversation between 2 MARRIED men sitting right across. MARRIED will be clarified soon. It was a nice conversation between 2 typical office going, working , married men in their mid thirties. The tie wearing, suit case bearing, lunch box carrying, married guys. They talk about all sorts of typical things- electricity bills corruption, investment schemes, bad bosses, children, the schooling woes, and ofcourse, their wives. They read the entire Mumbai Mirror and Mid-day, but remember only the middle pages that talk about sexpert and movies. They speak about Anna Hazaare, but don’t quite know what the great man is exactly fighting for. Lokpal to them is a parliamentary term and that’s about it. They are on FB, but are hardly ever active. They have all bought LIC policies but are hardly satisfied. They do not even know how much returns they will get. But they do believe theirs are the best investment policies.

As these 2 guys were speaking about all above things, one of them asked the other-“ aur batao, kal Holi kaisi thi? Kahin baahar vaahar gaye the?”

The other one promptly replied “ Nahin yaar. Bas ghar pe hi tha. Beta toh school gaya tha. Main aur Sunita (his wife apparently) ghar par hi the. Aise hi ek doosre ko rang lagay, thoda sweet khaaya aur TV dekha din bhar”

The first one asked “Yaar you didn’t go out anywhere? How did you enjoy at home? Arent people supposed to enjoy Holi outside with family and friends? Shouldn’t it be a LOUD affair?”

The second one then replied “ It is not like that yaar. I had fun with my wife at home. Family is not in town and friends were busy doing their own thing. My wife and I played some basic holi, did the Pooja and enjoyed. I guess that is all that is needed to enjoy Holi. You do not need PEOPLE. You need someone you truly enjoy being with on that day”

And then I realized the meaning of the phrase “2 to tango”. Sometimes, in fact many a times, we need just one more person to enjoy doing something in life. To enjoy an even, an occasion, a reward, or to even sail through a difficult period. Sometimes, it is important to have just that one person that matters, and not a crowd that has everyone but the one who is actually relevant. Sometimes, you do not need a fanfare, or pomp and galore, just a slight celebration, and realization. Sometimes, it takes just “2 to tango”.

Few annoying things we repeatedly repeat!!

1) Tell the rickshaw walaa to Drive faster, even though he is driving at a pretty decent pace

2) Give him or anyone else a Rs. 50 or 100 note every time, even though you have plenty of change.

3) Whenever a colleague opens the office intranet, you stop to sneak into his PC to see what he or she is updating. This, although , you have done everything we need to.

4) In college, when someone is studying something, you open your own notes of that same subject and ensure you have studied it well, which you indeed have.

5) When in office, log into net banking to check your bank account, even though you did it half hour ago, and there are probably no transactions. Just an indication of not having any work.

6) When stuck in traffic, you curse the whole world around, without realizing that this cursing is not going to resolve this traffic situation one bit.

7) When you go out for a simple walk, or to buy something quick, you always carry your mobile with you, in the assumption that the world will crash if you do not attend to any calls in that time. And oh, no one really ever calls in that time anyway.

8) Blame all the realty shows for spoiling culture, affecting kids this that, or in the sheer name of cheap entertainment, and yet, secretly watch Roadies or split villa. And then, when in office a discussion happens with people who too watch these shows, you participate nicely. If on the other hand, a discussion happens with those who hate and detest such shows, you too hate these shows. So convenient it is.

9) When in the process of arranged marriage, you are constantly cribbing about the fact that you are single and nothing is working out. Yet, when a potential proposal says yes to you, the world breaks lose. You freak out at the name of commitment and palpitations occur. Hypocrisy to its core.

10) When you have no work in office, you try to project somehow that you are very busy. And you dont like people reminding you abt that,,,however, when u see someone else without work, you immediately have a comment to make abt the fact that they do not have too much work and are sitting idle while u r working...

11) Procrastination--I had thought about this blog abt 2 weeks ago, but am writing it only now...

12) Spit-- Why do you do that?